Book Review: Barnabas Collins and the Mysterious Ghost

Published in 1970, this is the most contemporary book in my Dark Shadows collection. It’s lucky number thirteen in the series (of 32) so I have a long way to go if I choose to continue.

gordon meyer holding book cover

The title of the book is a bit of a puzzle to me — aren’t all ghosts mysterious? Nonetheless, the adjective was used several times in the story, so I guess my opinion was not shared by the author or editor.

As I have skipped a couple of volumes, I’m left wondering what happened to Victoria Winters, who is not only no longer in the house, she’s not even mentioned. Clearly, I missed some significant events.

In fact, there aren’t many Collins family members mentioned at all. This is definitely not a good place to begin reading the series; it would give a false impression of its gestalt.

Another thing that stood out to me is the more traditional vampire lore that’s reflected in this volume. And I do mean reflected, as a key moment occurs when Barnabas can’t be seen in a mirror.

I am pleased that the “wan drinking game” I proposed earlier would still be playable with this book. Cheers!

The writing continues to pull me in, and I found myself laughing out loud at the observation that “our own hippies wear clothes of ancient style,” in defense of Barnabas’ manner of dress. How 1970!

I’ll continue avoiding spoilers, but will note that the book sets up a fantastic treasure to be found in a future volume (I presume).


Importing passwords into macOS Passwords.app

I’ve been using Selznick Scientific Software’s PasswordWallet for a couple of decades. (Seriously, it has been that long. The oldest entry in my wallet is for the ACM Digital Library, and it was created in 2001.)

However, in the last couple of macOS updates, PasswordWallet has developed a few annoying problems, and I’ve found myself relying on Apple’s keychain instead. With the release of macOS Sequoia’s Passwords.app, it is time to say goodbye to my beloved PasswordWallet.

On macOS (only), Passwords.app allows you to import data, but what the new app expects, and what PasswordWallet exports, aren’t compatible. Sadly, the user guide for Passwords.app doesn’t give any useful information about importing. (But it can help you find the Import menu item, if you’re unable to do that. 🙄)

Before you begin, use PasswordWallet’s local sync function to merge all copies of your wallet (such as from your iPhone) with the wallet on your Mac. Make a note of how many total entries you have. (Mine has nearly 1000.) Then, make sure PasswordWallet’s search field is clear and use the export command to save a text file of all your entries. Then do the following:

  1. Open the exported file in BBedit and change all the tab characters to commas.
  2. Save the file with a .csv extension, which is what Passwords.app requires.
  3. Import the csv file into Numbers for further manipulation.
  4. Only the first five columns are needed, so use Merge Cell to move any information from columns six and beyond into the fifth column. (This will become the Notes field in Passwords.app)
  5. Delete columns six and beyond.
  6. Add a Header Row that names each column as follows: Title, URL, Username, Password, and Notes.
  7. Save the .cvs file.
  8. In Passwords.app, use the Import function to open the cvs file. (Importing takes a surprisingly long time. Be patient.)
  9. When the import finishes, you’ll see a list of entries that were skipped. In my case, about 20% were not imported because they were duplicates of what I already had in Passwords.app (based on the item’s URL). You may want to compare each of these with what you have in PasswordWallet and manually re-enter any Notes that you want to retain.
  10. As a sanity-check, compare the reported number of entries imported with the total entries that were in your PasswordWallet.

To finish up, I recommend using PasswordWallet to save a backup file of its data, for safekeeping. It will be encrypted and require PasswordWallet to open, should you need it. You can also save your import files, but as they are in plain text, I strongly suggest doing so using an encrypted archive or disk image. In any case, be sure to securely delete your import files so they can’t be recovered. (Another point that the Help book fails to mention.)

I would appreciate it if there were a way to assign imported entries to a group, but I couldn’t figure out a way to do that. It might be possible by adding columns to the spreadsheet, but doing so is left as an exercise for the reader.

Good luck!



Book Review: The Demon of Barnabas Collins

The underlying theme of this eighth volume (1969) in the Dark Shadows series is the futility of trying to change the person you love. (Or, perhaps, just that women try to change men.) It may be that the incessant meddling that Barnabas endures is the “demon” of the title.

gordon meyer holding book cover

Another theme is that of Second Sight. In the story, we learn that both dogs and horses possess the ability, as does, ironically, a one-eyed man.

We also learn about ghostly flowers, that can be smelled, but not seen.

Physically, this book likely has a higher word count than the others I have read. It would explain the denser formatting, and maybe even the typographical mistakes such as repeated lines and even, surprisingly, a line printed entirely upside down. How did these mistakes make it into print? Was a demon at play?

photo of book page showing an upside line

Aside from the obligatory use of “dark shadows” as an adjective — which I continue to appreciate — this story brilliantly features a deaf-mute manservant. Barnabas must have felt very secure having an assistant who would have few employment prospects elsewhere, and also couldn’t well communicate the things he witnessed.

And, yes, the raw material for a “wan” drinking game is still very much present. Bottoms up!

I think one of the reasons I enjoyed this volume so much is that it’s a narrative, not a mystery to be solved. (I enjoy reading mystery novels, but don’t try to solve them.)

The ending of this volume is very poignant and presumably sets up a future story line. (No spoilers!)


Book Review: Birds Aren’t Real

This 2024 book by Peter McIndoe and Conner Gaydos is subtitled “The True Story of Mass Avian Murder and the Largest Surveillance Campaign in US History.”

Nothing makes me giggle more than seeing some dude holding up a “Birds Aren’t Real” sign at nearly every protest and sporting event. It tickles me even more than the “John 3:16” nutters. So when I found this book on the closeout rack at Barnes & Noble, I couldn’t resist buying it.

gordon meyer holding book

Have you ever watched a comedian who has a very finely constructed long joke that you really appreciate? At the payoff you think “wow that was really nicely done.” You can see where they’re coming from, and they obviously spent a lot of work refining it. You really appreciate the bit, but, what you don’t do, is laugh. That’s pretty much what this book was for me.

As I learned by studying at the Second City, good satire doesn’t overly rely on a wink-wink-nudge-nudge. Which this book leans into too heavily. Also, as I learned from Discordianism, not being able to tell if it’s meant as a joke is key to a good psychosocial-conspiracy.

For me, the authors made a terrible mistake in the early pages. A key moment in their historical timeline relies on events that occur at a Waffle House in Boise, Idaho.

But there is no Waffle House in Boise, Idaho. You see, as a magician, I am careful to avoid asserting evidence that can be easily, and concretely, refuted. If they had written “a waffle house,” that would not have blown apart my suspension of disbelief. How unfortunate.

That aside, there are many fun and compelling things about the book:

  • The discussion of a hummingbird drone and the JFK assassination
  • The description of online research as “YouTube videos of men yelling at their phones inside of trucks”
  • The revelation that bird poop is a synthetic tracking liquid applied by drone birds to help surveil people
  • The reason that ”birds” perch on power lines is to recharge their batteries. This is also the secret reason why many communities have not replaced overhead lines with safer, more reliable underground power.

My hat’s off to the authors, and overall this book is a fine accomplishment. I have been spoiled by the tighter, funnier, and more convincing shaggy dog tales proffered by the Discordians, and even the Church of the SubGenius. If you’d like to learn more about the Bird Truthers movement, pick up a copy at Amazon. However, if you want a real mindfck, go for The Illuminatus Trilogy instead.

23 Skidoo!


Humane home automation

In The Home as a Place of Production, Karen Rosenkranz asks: “So what would an alternative vision for the home of the future look like?”

I think some clues are to be found in the past. In the pre-industrial era, the domestic dwelling was where most work took place. From shoemakers to blacksmiths or scholars, skilled workers made things out of their homes. Food was produced within or around the house. This was all part of life – making, mending and feeding oneself. The duality of life and work hadn’t been established yet.

via Dense Discovery